Welcome to my brain

Well.. Just saying hello feels weird but.. hello.

For those who know me and might ask themselves: “Doesn´t she already do enough in her life?” The answer is: Yes. And yet I am not even sure if I will publish this. But I guess as you are reading this, I overcame the uncertainty that lingered inside my brain for weeks now (years even if I am completely honest) and went public. And honesty is one thing I want to keep in this blog. Blog sounds also very weird. I mean, I do wanna publish about my thoughts, life and topics that either annoy the fuck out of me (am I even allowed to say fuck on a blogpost?) or topics that excite me, make me wanna talk about it for hours and tire the ears of the person sitting in front of me. In that case it would be your eyes, as you are still here, reading these words I put unfiltered on these pages on a Thursday morning before I head off to work.

I also guess it would only be polite to introduce myself, even though I think most of the people coming here and reading this are friends and family, so they already know me. Well. Anyway. In case you, my dear reader, are a person that - until now - did not have the pleasure of making my acquaintance: My name is Nicole. I am 28 years old. And I try to understand life and make sense of all the plot twists and dramas (the good and the bad) life throws at me in my late twenties.

And since a very lot years which I did not count, I am silently dreaming of putting my thoughts out in the open. I also want to say it quickly by myself before anyone thinks it: “Why does she think that her opinion on things matter that much? Quite arrogant of her”. Sorry to interrupt here, but I think only I think that others think that about me, right? So by saying that I think that you, my dear reader, think about me as arrogant or even conceited because I blow my thoughts and opinions about whatever occupies my mind into the depths of the internet, I protect my feelings from any future criticism because I was the first to raise a negative opinion about this thing here. Which in summary shows beautifully how I can put up walls around me and grant you a glance into the pit of my brain and show my vulnerability at the same time. I think this is so very much fascinating about us humans, how just one thing we said can be negative and yet positive at the same time. And even more fascinating is to me, that both can (and are allowed) to co-exist.

But to come back to my initial introduction – and thank you very much for bearing with me and my brain: I am not sure how this thing here will go. If I go with pillars and topics or just whatever keeps my brain busy. If I publish once a week, once a month or daily. If it is gonna be half a book each time like this introduction or if it will end up being just a couple sentences. To be very honest, I think you will end up having a very lot to read.

So expect nothing… and everything. Because I think this will become a space that gives you nothing except a couple disorganized words and everything that might make you feel less alone in the world and makes you sit with your thoughts. Practically a space between all of that.

You see what I did there with the name of my blog and ending my introduction? I think that was a pretty smooth transition. Okay. Anyway. I end this now or we both will never get anything done.

Stay kind.

Much love,
Nicole